pandemic buzz

Pandemic Buzz | Learning About Myself on the Internet

Last night, I hit a wall. I didn’t want to read, didn’t want to work, didn’t want to watch TV. I was just done. But I couldn’t sleep, either. So, I did what anyone would do. I took an obscene number of Buzzfeed quizzes on the Internet. And it turns out, I didn’t really know myself at all. Allow me to introduce you to my true self.

My Life According to Buzzfeed

I was born an only child on February 21st and am 26 years old. But don’t let my age fool you. I’m emotionally only 15. Apparently, my mental age is 50, but based on the amusement park features I like most, I’m a whopping 84 years old at heart. Age is a complicated thing. And that’s not even the half of it. I reheat leftovers like a 12-year-old, and I have the taste buds of a 30-year-old. Don’t judge. We all have our flaws.

My favorite sort of humor is self-deprecating. I know this based on the cheeses I selected for a cheese platter. You can learn a lot about one’s sense of humor from cheese.

Some of the people I’m a little bit like are Kevin McAllister from Home Alone, Michaelangelo the Ninja Turtle, Rory Gilmore from the Gilmore Girls, Edward Cullin from Twilight, and No-Face from Spirited Away. I am a party dude, and I have been home alone quite a lot over the last few months. So, that all checks out. Plus, the Edward Cullin revelation was based on what I’d order from the Olive Garden, so there’s no way that one is wrong.

Based on animal pictures, I have not yet met my soul mate. Though, our relationship sounds complicated already. We’ll meet zip lining and have a fake relationship that will eventually become real. I’m unclear as to whether my soul mate and true love are the same people, but my true love’s initials will start with C, I, O, U, or Y. And I will win him over with my brilliant mind. Based on what I’d order from brunch, it’s obvious my dominant trait is logic. So, sure. Let’s roll with it.

My aura is red, but my personality is yellow. And in case you were wondering about my fantasy name, it’s Irabith. If I were a rodent, I’d be a chinchilla. And based on the cottage I chose, we can be certain I am Tteokbokki. Which is delicious.

Speaking of cottages, I’m 60% cottagecore (a word which I did not have to google).

I wasn’t sure what I should dye my hair next, but now I know I should go platinum blonde. I haven’t done that one for a very long time now, so I suppose it’s overdue. I also had no idea which underrated Disney movie I should watch tonight, but now I know I should totally watch Treasure Planet. Never heard of it before, but I’m sure it will be great.

If I were a musical genre, I’d be alternative. But based on how I like my pho, I have a really bad habit of hating songs as soon as they become mainstream. It’s a character flaw, to be sure. If I were a Folklore song, I’d be “The Last Great American Dynasty.” Hands down. And I would hate it, which means I would hate myself. Checks out.

When it comes to light and dark academia, I’m dark. I think this has something to do with my preference to learn Greek over French and that I like to write. But mostly, people, I am a unicorn, magical and unique. If I were a fruit, I’d be a dragonfruit. When it comes to cookies, I’m chocolate chip and not oatmeal raisin, but stop trying to put me in a box already.

Generally, I have good taste. In fact, I get an A+ when it comes to pairing food and drink.

You can tell by the fact that I like plain pancakes with only butter and syrup and none of that other crap people put on their pancakes that I’m super adventurous. In fact, I’m going to take a vacation to Big Sur, California as soon as I can. I can’t think of anything more adventurous. But then, there’s no evidence anywhere that I’m all that creative.

Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given is to take up pottery to relieve stress and to “slow my roll.” Apparently, I tend to bite off more than I can handle. But I’m a hummingbird, baby. That’s just what I do. A HUMMINGBIRD.

Anyway, this is the real me. Sorry I’ve been keeping all of this from you for so long.

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