Pink Chickens

When I was young and he was younger, he threw a Nintendo at me. A whole freaking Nintendo system. He also chased me around the house with a knife and locked me out of the house the first time I ever babysat. I think I was 12 years old. I’m not sure what that would have made him, because I’m terrible at knowing anybody’s age, even my own brothers.’ Maybe 7 or something?

He also shit all over me when he was a baby. I should have seen it as a sign. A wiser self would have said, “Stay clear of this kid, he will throw Nintendos at you and chase you with knives and overdose the dog.” Oh, yeah. He overdosed the dog. Fed him a bottle of Tylenol. If I recall, he popped a few too many himself, also. Hello, Ipecac.

He grew out of the violent phase not long after the babysitting incident and somehow grew up to be an RCUS poster boy. “Mr. Perfect with his perfect house and his perfect job and his perfect wife,” to quote brother #3, who isn’t bitter at all.

But really, I do wonder where all that rage wandered off to, because these days he wouldn’t hurt a fly. And by fly, I mean a human person, because he would definitely hurt an actual fly. He’s smart, talented, decent, funny. All of my brothers are.

There are a lot of good stories about him though from when he was a kid, especially when he would come home from school outraged about something or other. Dust mites. Macaroni. Thomas Jefferson. Oh, the humanity! But my favorite thing he said is still the bit about the flamingos. We were walking some place or another in Hawaii; I can’t remember. But we passed some flamingos, and I guess he had never seen any before, because he yelled out in amazement, “Look, Mom! PINK CHICKENS!”

Pink chickens. What a funny guy. You know, like Kevin on Home Alone.

Beka Johnson
Beka Johnson

Beka is the Director of Inbound Marketing for a fintech company in the Seattle area. She loves dabbling, reading, scheming, writing, and dreaming up ways to make good things better. When she’s not working, you can find her digging up all sorts of adventures in her new city.

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